As APEX developers worked countless hours to address a myriad of networking issues causing production lines to be held up across the universe, a ProsperousTurnip investigation has turned up the addictions of many CEOs.
After hours upon hours of investigation into the possibility of “memory leaks” or “bugs” in the latest update, APEX developer Martin discovered the true cause of APEX slowness.
Corporations have been utilizing a little extra money and some unused land to create shrine-like monuments to the APEX developers. We visited Slomes, Inc.’s factory on Promitor to see the work of art they created on their property.
Prosperous Turnip, Promitor - Promitor reported more than 100 company representives casting a vote, making this heated mudslinging event a record.
Prosperous Turnip, Promitor - The race for the next governor of Promitor is coming to its final hours, and the candidates are neck and neck. They’re also apparently at each others throats!
Promitor - Time to watch the models parade down the runway again, as Lord Scrubjay hosts this years Promitorian No Pants (PNP) Fashion Show! This is just a stand-in photo, as we got tired of paying our laywers to fight off the Promitorian Chamber of Commerce 1 and the Galatic Senate 2 from previous years.
According to an article in Promitor’s Agriculture Daily, NCE and CI faction planets could benefit from higher crop yields if plowing could be implemented across all planets. The authors suggest that Promitor, Etherwind, and Boucher each have highly successful agricultural sectors primarily due to plowing.
Nothing of interest has happened today, anyways.
We are hiring1.
Here’s a picture of the Universe.
We pay in exposure. ↩︎
According to an anonymously sent recording sent to the Prosperous Turnip, the Vallis Slogan Contest appears to be a ruse to drum up casino traffic. The scheme, created by casino head & governor of Vallis IanVG, is providing him with almost ten-fold profits.
Every captain has a little bit of worry when they fly through the black. Did you plan the route correctly to avoid flying through a supernova? Did you get enough rations for your crew? Did you remember to load enough fuel into the ship?
