Latest News

APEX Developers to Flip ‘Planned Obsolescence’ Switch on Monday

After years of rock solid ship reliability, APEX intend to have cargo haulers start to break down and malfunction due to “meteorite damage” and “wear and tear.”

Listen, it just doesn’t make sense to have these ships last forever. At some point, you just need to switch to a new provider and upgrade to the newest model—while locked into a contract for 2 years, of course.

  • molp

Read More

Anonymous Donation to Infirmary Boosts Health on Katoa

Katoan officials hope to locate philanthropist for their very generous donation.

With the donor’s help, the citizenry of Katoa will see their health skyrocket. When pioneer health rises, the economy rises. The time to invest in Katoa is now!


Read More

The Devil Incarnate To Pass Torch to Apprentice On Promitor

Prosperous Turnip, Promitor. In a surprise announcement, prdgi of GDP’s Intent For Torment on Promitor (AKA “G.I.F.T. on Promitor”) is taking applications for an apprentice1. Citing “lack of time due to real-life commitments [torturing Promitorians]”, the Devil will be passing the torch a new prospective tormentor.

Read More

Jkomut Death Ruled Suicide

After two months of agonizing investigation into his death, GTU security forces1 have deemed the death of Jkomut of GDP a suicide.

Read More