Following the supposed extiction event on AU-605c¹, worshippers took over the public spaces of the universe this week to share their religious beliefs, wanted or not. It’s unclear if there were hopes of acquiring new members, plans to discredit the other beliefs, or just get their 3 minutes of fame. The “Church of molp” had multiple speakers show up and vehemently disagree over The End.

Escalating conflict over major TIO deposits on AU-605c took an unexpected end, resulting in the total extinction of the pioneer population.

Extinction¹

The Galactic Senate (an Illuminati-like group of mega corporations) has stunned political commentators across the known galaxy by proving its worth this week. Over the course of less than a week, the senate took in diverse views from areas as far as XD-354B, Talosia, and the core planets to finally dissolve itself.

Prosperous Turnip - Digital. Saganaki’s pet dog FIDO¹ has been found unresponsive in the server room of the popular information FIO, with several shredded cables surrounding him.

In an era of increased prosperity, some of the galaxy’s less fortunate have been left behind. Millions of pioneers on the “highly developed” planets of Montem and Vallis have taken to the streets demanding their governors prevent the export of Moria’s highest quality goods.

Prosperous Turnip - Deimos. A transplanted CEO released a sample of what he hopes will help launch his side career as a travelling poet. Slomes, of Loan Manta Enterprises, announced his tour schedule and promotion for his book with the following sample.

In a recent interview, molp claimed he was “extremely frustrated” after being unable to trade overpriced hydrogen to a new member of the development team. It is widely believed that FIO Corp are responsible for this horrific attack on our beloved developers–especially considering NickNack tweeted “#BlameFIOC” seven more than times his usual twice a day.

ProsperousTurnip - Etherwind. After many weeks of oversupplying the markets, Etherwind CEOs were in a bind: by producing so much H2O & DW, companies were crashing the markets which helped make them grow. In an attempt to stymie a market crash, many companies horded their resources, but encountered issues.

BREAKING NEWS:

In what seems like under the span of three hours, hundreds of companies were forced to COLIQ last night.

The Prosperous Turnip team is investigating this story as it develops.

After thousands of hours of time spent chatting on the topic, molp today announced the addition of a new rule: