In what industry analysts are calling “the most honest New Year’s resolution yet,” Refined PrUn developer Razenpok has announced their commitment to making the APEX experience “just a shade more soul-crushing” in 3025.
PROMITOR, HORTUS SYSTEM - What started as a mysterious series of disappearing Market Maker supplies and appearing “gifts” across multiple colonies has been revealed as an unexpected consequence of an experimental logistics AI’s interpretation of “market optimization.”
MALAHAT, RC-040 - In what observers are calling the largest gathering since the Great Electronics Embargo of 2289, dozens of corporate executives assembled in the Malahat Administrative Complex yesterday, demanding the right to pay their planetary taxes in “honest AIC” rather than what protesters termed “oppressive CIS credits.”
PROMITOR - Scientists at the Promitorian Institute of Biological Studies have identified a peculiar strain of fungus believed to be responsible for the increasingly bizarre behavior of local corporation executives, manifesting primarily in compulsive outbursts of “Praise Beanz!” throughout their workday.
KATOA, Benton System - In a shocking twist that left traditional chefs scratching their heads, the inaugural Trans-Galactic Culinary Championship hosted on Katoa concluded with Frentic Industries claiming victory after serving geometrically-precise meat shapes paired with their signature “Smart Zinfandel” to a panel of scientific judges.
MONTEM, MORIA SYSTEM - After what historians describe as “that whole period between when people still used paper spreadsheets and now,” the Montem Planetary Administration has finally completed construction of its long-awaited shipyard by employing what they’re calling a “synchronized logistics solution” – namely, timing the delivery of the final components to coincide perfectly with the eviction of a local prefab manufacturing facility.
ETHERWIND, KW-688 - In what officials are calling “completely necessary step for securing democratic integrity of planetary elections, comrade,” Etherwind’s governing body passed new legislation requiring all voting CEOs to present FIOC-issued identification cards during upcoming planetary elections.
PROMITOR SECTOR - In the dimly lit corridors of Habitat Module C-17, workers shuffle between their sleeping pods and workstations, their eyes glazed with the particular brand of hopelessness that comes from checking the corporate compensation rates for the eighteenth time today. The rates, unsurprisingly, remain unchanged.
A new scientific study accidentally reveals what CEOs with operations on Hortus have known for eons - the truth about the relationship between the planet’s distance from the system’s sun and it’s population’s lifecycle.
Pioneers working for Willow Enterprises on Etherwind have been gloating excitedly about the new cafeteria Rwinner is building for them.
