PHOBOS, ANTARES I SYSTEM — Local Antares Initiative pioneer Akio Matsuda has spent the last fourteen hours attempting to compose a message to his company’s CEO that doesn’t inadvertently read like a death threat, according to a desperate communication received by The Prosperous Turnip late yesterday.

Haggard pioneer struggling to compose message.¹

In a message that initially triggered our publication’s emergency security protocols due to phrases such as “need urgent assistance before something terrible happens” and “running out of time,” Matsuda reached out to our editorial staff seeking communication advice.*

Matsuda, who works as a resource extraction specialist at the struggling outpost of Phobos Mining Conglomerate (PMC), has been trying to inform CEO Eliza Jorvik about critical resource shortages that have left pioneers without basic necessities for weeks.

“I just want to express the urgency of our situation without it sounding like I’m planning to eject her out an airlock,” said Matsuda in a subsequent encrypted interview. “But every time I write ‘If these conditions continue, I cannot be responsible for what happens next,’ it comes across more ominous than intended.”

The pioneer has tried various approaches, including formal business language, personal appeals, and data-driven analyses, but each attempt has inadvertently contained phrases like “your time is running out,” “we know where your habitat module is located,” and “this situation will be resolved one way or another.”

Colony communications specialist Vera Chen, who Matsuda also consulted before reaching out to our publication, noted this is a common problem for workers at remote outposts. “The isolation, combined with the Antares Initiative’s sub-standard communication equipment and high-stress environmental conditions, creates a perfect storm for accidentally threatening-sounding messages,” Chen explained. “Last week, a hydroponics technician tried to report a fertilizer shortage and somehow ended up implying he was going to feed the CEO to the protein-rich mushrooms.”

According to sources, Matsuda’s latest draft begins with, “With all due respect, Madame CEO,” and ends with “Looking forward to seeing you during your next visit to Phobos,” which his colleagues have advised might be interpreted as a threat given the base’s recent string of mysterious airlock “incidents.”

Communications logs reveal this isn’t the first time PMC workers have struggled with message tone. Last month, a simple request for additional STL fuel was misinterpreted as a hijacking threat, resulting in a TITANIUM RAPID security team being deployed to the outpost.

At press time, Matsuda had reportedly given up and decided to encode his supply request as shipping manifests using APEX bulk upload protocols, though colleagues warned that his repeated use of the term “URGENT DELIVERY REQUIRED” alongside inventory shortfalls of oxygen might still trigger corporate security protocols.

“I might just send a smiley emoji and hope she approves more basic rations,” Matsuda sighed, staring at the blinking cursor. “Though with our compression algorithms, even that might come through as ‘YOUR REIGN OF TERROR ENDS SOON.’”