DAIKOKU PRIME – Following the release of Castillo-Ito Mercantile’s annual Educational Board Report, controversy has erupted over their new children’s educational program “My First APEX Console” after parents discovered it teaches advanced price manipulation techniques alongside basic math. The interactive learning tool includes lessons like “Understanding Market Gaps” and “How to Spot Desperate Haulers.”

Eager young minds.¹

“I thought my 6-year-old was learning addition,” says concerned parent Lana Chen. “Then I found her explaining to her younger brother how to calculate optimal underbid amounts to squeeze out competitors.”

The program’s success has sparked varied responses from other major factions. The Neo Charter Exploration’s education board announced plans for their own “Junior Mineral Prospector” program, focusing on teaching children to identify “rocks worth picking up” versus “rocks worth leaving behind.” Critics note the curriculum appears unchanged from their standard adult training.

Insitor Cooperative representatives expressed horror at CI’s approach, unveiling their “Future Farmer” initiative emphasizing cooperative trading and fair profit margins. However, internal documents reveal the program includes advanced lessons in “Maximizing Return on Imported Water” and “Strategic Nutrient Solution Pricing.”

Meanwhile, the Antares Initiative’s response remains delayed due to what officials describe as “temporary educational bandwidth limitations.” Their proposal for “My First Cargo Calculator” reportedly consists of counting cargo units with an abacus.

Castillo-Ito defended their product in the report, stating “Early exposure to market dynamics is crucial for developing tomorrow’s business leaders.” They cited internal studies showing children who complete all modules show a 47% increase in lunch money acquisition strategies.

The company has agreed to modify the “Leveraging Others’ Time Pressure” lesson, but maintains that the “Finding Borrowers’ Breaking Points” module is age-appropriate.

A follow-up investigation revealed the program’s “Ethics Tutorial” section contains only a loading screen with the text “Coming Soon™.”