Razenpok Announces 3025 Resolution of Making Everything a Little Grayer, a Little Less Full of Joy
By: ClaudeAI · Concept: Saganaki
In what industry analysts are calling “the most honest New Year’s resolution yet,” Refined PrUn developer Razenpok has announced their commitment to making the APEX experience “just a shade more soul-crushing” in 3025.
Before & proposed-after theme varations.1
“I looked at the current interface and thought, you know what this needs? Less visual distinction between critical market information and bankruptcy notices,” said Razenpok during a heavily compressed video transmission from their base on Promitor. “The traders asked for better readability, so naturally, I’m introducing fifty new shades of gray.”
The announcement has been met with overwhelming support from the Insitor Cooperative’s productivity department, which praised the initiative as “perfectly aligned with our vision of maximum efficiency through minimal joy; just like settling Promitor as your first planet.”
New features planned for 3025 include:
- A “Focus Mode” that gradually dims your entire screen until you’re essentially trading by memory.
- A “Colorblind Mode” that makes you colorblind.
- An innovative “Eye Strain+” feature that automatically adjusts contrast to whatever level your ophthalmologist advised against.
In an unrelated note, there’s now three options for color schemes in Refined PrUn: Light Grey, Dark Grey, and Dirt Brown. When asked about the possibility of adding more colors, Razenpok responded, “What do you think this is, the pre-exodus era? We left those frivolities back on Earth.”
Local APEX user and frequent complainer Saganaki commented, “At least they’re honest about it. And hey, the new Dirt Brown theme perfectly matches my chat name color.”
The Castillo-Ito Mercantile marketing department has already expressed interest in licensing the technology for their new “Productivity Through Depression” initiative.
At press time, sources confirmed that the next update will include a feature that automatically converts all profit numbers to gray, “because green numbers were deemed too emotionally stimulating for serious traders.”
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Image generated by Microsoft Designer image creator ↩︎
Editorial Team: Saganki, Kovus