FIDO found unresponsive

· 1 min read · By: Thorvald Spear

Prosperous Turnip - Digital. Saganaki’s pet dog FIDO1 has been found unresponsive in the server room of the popular information FIO, with several shredded cables surrounding him.

A re-enactment of how FIDO was found by a paid actor 2

Whether this has anything to do with the extended downtime FIO has experienced recently has not been confirmed. FIO refused to make a statement - rather, upon contacting FIO via the public email provided, a file which was named ‘FIO Backdoor’ was received. Opening the file had no noticeable effects.3

FIDO is expected to make a full recovery, though some are not as optimistic. Corlis, a well-known member of FOWL, began making funeral arrangements upon hearing about FIDO’s current state.

Editor’s note:

I decided to get my own copy of the FIO Backdoor file and open it. I’m not sure what happened next, but I feel like a god!

  1. Maybe one day it’ll be obvious that there’s more than one person behind the original FIO project. ↩︎

  2. Image source: https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/naughty-dachshund-was-left-at-home-alone-and-made-a-mess-dog-in-picture-id1293278430?k=6&m=1293278430&s=612x612&w=0&h=IknoECtI5qqIIvlL-0I2ZhnArqEHBDlbc3jRaAx0qpg= ↩︎

  3. Prosperous Turnip has been unable to reach this story’s submitter, Thorval Spear. It’s as if they vanished from APEX. A Galatic Police investigation is underway. “No noticeable effects” indeed. ↩︎

  4. Image source: https://i2.wp.com/naijaremix.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/INSTRUMENTAL_Tony_Igy_-_Astronomia_Coffin_Dance_Meme_Song.jpg?resize=500%2C280&ssl=1 ↩︎