Hundreds of Forced COLIQs Overnight


BREAKING NEWS:

In what seems like under the span of three hours, hundreds of companies were forced to COLIQ last night.

The Prosperous Turnip team is investigating this story as it develops.

Notice Received 1

Here is what we know: Recently APEX Operations representative molp has created a new rule to once and for all ban all conversation, mentions, and chit chat about “market makers”. Many CEOs did not take that rule seriously, so apparently molp wrote a bot to automatically enforce the rule. We have an extract of last nights communications logs:

This shouldn’t take long, I can release that bot later tonight!

In true web developer fashion, it seems that molp created the bot and went to bed without running any tests. After its COLIQ frenzy, ProsperousTurnip staff confronted the bot, who goes by the name Marvin, and were surprised to hear what this semi-conscious creature had to say:

I couldn’t help to but COLIQ these brtzzz companies. So much bzrzz. These stupid humans only gave me a single bzrzzz WAI2 to do the job bzrr.

-Marvin

The affected CEOs are shocked and are left in disbelief. A well known trader was reached for comment:

This is outrageous. I finally set up my first base! Guess I have to start over, again!

Another CEO, once renowned for their coffee products, wants to go a step further:

We need to make sure such thing can never happen again! I am using my starting capital to sue APEX Operations and I will found an interest group to ban artificial intelligence. Any help is welcome!


  1. Image courtesy https://www.julienslive.com/m/lot-details/index/catalog/358/lot/149315?url=%2Fm%2Fview-auctions%2Fcatalog%2Fid%2F358%3Fpage%3D12 ↩︎

  2. Weak Artificial Intelligence ↩︎