Promitorian Chiropractors Overwhelmed as Native Planet CEOs Continuously Injured Patting Themselves on the Back For Starting On Promitor

· 1 min read · by: Saganaki

While CEOs universe-wide have revealed the horrors they have subjected upon their workers, chiropractors across the planet are reporting an excessive influx of CEOs who have injured themselves patting themselves on the back after starting on the most overpowered fucking planet1.

There’s a line of very sore yet very self-satisfied people around the block of my office. All of them are feeling pretty smug about starting on Promitor.

Promitorians witnessed the struggles that Katoans and Montemites endured and collectively pulled their traps and deltoids in a frenzy to declare themselves superior.

I haven’t seen anything like this since…well, ever.

CEO after CEO have pulled countless latissimus dorsi and levator ani muscles trying to reach around their bodies to give themselves a hearty pat on the back for not being Katoan, despite having inflammatory rhetoric themselves like “Make Promitor Great Again” under LordScrubjay.

The specific ailment has been coined “The South-Western Reach” or PCC (Promitorian Complacency Condition).

  1. Editor’s Note: After attempting to tone down the language of the article, the author chased the editor out of the building screaming “I’ll show you a real levitor ani muscle injury!” As a result, the article is as appears without modification. ↩︎