Catfiz Unveils Advanced Mining EXT That Goes Deep Enough to Pulls His Head Out From His Ass

ProsperousTurnip, Promitor. Governor Catfiz announced plans today for a new thermo-extractor that goes deep enough to pull his head out of his ass.

The extractor[^1]

“Today is a historic day” Catfiz announced while his head was present inside his rectum. “Finally, we have the means to extract the deepest-buried substances in the universe.”

Plans for the revolutionary device came to him after taking the reins from prdgi on Promitor. The parts of the device, which involve a carbon nanotube drill bit, slave labor diamonds for the tip, and insufoam is expected to be ready for mass production Q1 3021.

The news comes simultaneously amidst reports of election tampering. Catfiz ignored the press instead gesturing to the plans for the extractor which is funded entirely by Promitorian taxes & subsidies.

[^1] image couresty Slide 17