APEX Developers to Flip ‘Planned Obsolescence’ Switch on Monday


After years of rock solid ship reliability, APEX intend to have cargo haulers start to break down and malfunction due to “meteorite damage” and “wear and tear.”

Listen, it just doesn’t make sense to have these ships last forever. At some point, you just need to switch to a new provider and upgrade to the newest model—while locked into a contract for 2 years, of course.

Ship Damage1

Responding to concerns about costs of purchasing new ships and maintaining existing ships, lead designer for the company calmed the masses:

Rest assured, we have made sure there are plenty of options for constructing entry level ships. For example, a small interstellar hauler will only require 4 Water Reclaimers. According to data on the test server, smaller ships should be achievable by everyone.

Despite this, many within the universe have collaborated to bring up a class-action lawsuit against the developers. Led by Hoogalish McHoogs, the group aims to…well, we have no clue because it’s Hoogalish.

The Turnip will be watching closely as events unfold on the 7th.


  1. image courtesy of TheSpaceshipper on twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/TheSpaceshipper/status/1158075125356326912/photo/2 ↩︎