Zytkow Mechanicals Announces New Executive Starship

Artist rendering

Zytkow Mechanicals presents the Vogoltic P5700!

Zytkow Mechanicals has long been known for its functional spaceships. Rock solid behemoths of engineering leaving room for no creature comforts. It’s always been about the technology.

With this glorious functional reputation, Zytkow presents the Vogoltic P5700, their first executive-oriented passenger craft! PT got an exclusive chance to take a look, and boy were we shocked!

Zytkow is known for their metal chairs, plastic buttons, and easy-to-clean floors; and the P5700 does not let down! The chairs feature the finest in pleather trim. The plastic buttons are double-thick, with smooth edges. And the floors are indeed easy to clean.

The Vogoltic P5700, featuring the finest in yellow brick color, shape, and aerodynamics. You will not be disappointed with how this bad-boy hangs in the sky the same way bricks don’t. As a first for Zytkow Mechanicals, all models will come complete with a room & specialized chairs for exquisite readings of poetry! You can be the envy of all the poor people who can’t afford high-class flying bricks! This 4-seater ship will guzzle more STL fuel leaving a planet than the largest of star destroyers.

The Vogoltic P5700: Bold; Functional; Exquisitely brick-like.

Coming soon to a showroom on a planet near you.

Prosperous Turnip cannot actually recommend that you buy this pile of crap.