H2O Crisis on Promitor

Esabab’s shenanigans on the Promitor CX have stirred the political cauldron of Promitor Governorship in the latest bout between Governor Catfiz and Candidate LordScrubJay. With citizens in uproar over the price of H2O on a planet with a seemingly-endless supply of the natural resource, Governor Catfiz is calling for calm.

We need to remain calm, and not jump to hastily crafted conclusions. Since there were rumours it was a NV1-Missile strike aimed at our H2O trade centre, a serious matter, I have put my investigating committee on the case. So far, evidence suggests it is all nonsense. Any act of retaliation or war in response would be misguided. We have been enjoying a long time of peace and prosperity my friends and neighbours, and I suggest to give them the benefit of doubt. There is no reason for alarm, and no damage done.

Governor Catfiz, Promitor.

This response has caused division within the political landscape with candidates divided over the appropriate response.

Meddling with our water supply is a clear violation of international convention tantamount to an act of war. The pitiful response of our governor shows his weak leadership and lack of focus on protecting our citizens. I call for Governor Catfiz’s resignation. We need to protect our industries from foreign interference!

Candidate LordScrubjay, Promitor.

I stand with Governor Catfiz. They have a proven track record of effective leadership and I have full faith in them to resolve this dispute favourably. It is certainly not beneficial to have division amongst our leaders in the middle of a crisis. As such, I will withdraw my candidacy and throw my support behind Governor Catfiz.

Candidate Prdgi, Promitor.

Speculation that the H2O crisis was orchestrated by NLT as a means to manipulate the Promitor Governorship Election runs rampart among the population of Promitor’s largest cities. Citizens and industry experts have speculated wildly about the possible reasons, however, NLT Leader Esabab has refused to offer any conclusive statement.

I want to give my llama a bath. I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Anyone who has owned llamas knows they need a lot of water to bathe.

NLT Leader Esabab, Llama Bath.

The galaxy waits with baited breath for Governor Catfiz’s official response to Llama Bathgate.